You surely know the scene: "Its Christmas time. The living room has clearly not been made up for a while and is full with glasses, magazines, half empty plates in the floor, candles half way burnt... Bridget Jones lays pitifully in the sofa, drinking and smoking while watching TV." Most of you know exactly what I'm talking about, you have probably watched the movie: Bridget Jones Diary (2001), and a few unfortunate ones might have even lived some similar moment.
Yes, this is exactly how I thought Christmas this year will be for me, particularly during the days coming to the main festivities. Luckily, Christmas day was a much more beautiful and warm time, full of laugher and sweet people around me. Unfortunately, the rest of the "Christmas time" has not been much better.
First Christmas on a foreign land, seems to be, it's always a bit similar to that Bridget Jones scene. Unless you come from an utterly dysfunctional (maybe even physically and/or emotionally violent) family, you are bound to miss to have them all around during Christmas time. Yes, believe me, you will. Yes, even when they make your life impossible the rest of the year because they are scared that you have gone completely bananas and don't know anymore what you are doing with your live. You will.
On 26th of December, I woke up to an empty home. No noise, no plans, no people to visit me or to go visit. Worst of all, nobody out there seemed to have noticed that Christmas had just passed, once more. I felt lonely.
I smile now to the thought, while remembering another first Christmas time: the one I had during my first year in Ireland. It was another tough one. I had had Christmas eve dinner at a work colleague home with another 4 boys, of which I only knew 2. We had a nice meal, even though we were all pretty different and had little in common or little else to share other than our work place. The high moment of the night was the lovely face of surprise and delightment that I had managed to summon out of them all when, coming midnight, I offered each one of them a book. And the great part is that I had only had the idea the same morning. After a few boring hours at work before being let go cause it was finally quiet, I had gone to my favourite book store during the rush of the last minute shopping craze and I had managed to find something I liked to offer for each one of the boys. Including those I didn't even know, indeed.
But... what was I trying to say? Oh yeah, first Christmas in Ireland. So... after that beautiful night, I soon found myself alone at home again, on Christmas day, watching the snow fall for a few hours (It was actually a bit of a magic feeling cause it normally doesn't snow in Ireland, really!) Then, I realised night time will come soon, I was bored of being alone, I had forgotten to buy a new book to myself and so... I decided to go out for a coffee. I guess I needed a bit of a sense of belonging to come back to me, as this is one of the first things one looses when moving abroad, and wanted to see myself immerse in a little bit of a Christmas with people cheer once again.
If you have never been out in town on Christmas day, well, you know... probably nobody on a Christian earth has ever been either and that's why you don't know what it is like, cause nobody with a family around them does that! That was exactly what I realised as soon as I stepped out. Streets that on a weekend were hard to move through and on a weekday were really not much better were now absolutely deserted. Other than the Christmas decorations, nothing, nothing at all, was there to make me company. No cars passing. No music from the shops. No people crossing. Not even noises from the homes around (They were probably at the country side with their extended families) NOTHING I roamed around town for a good 20min, me and my thoughts. I regretted to not have taken my photo camera (Yes people, yes! These were the times when mobiles didn't yet have a camera. That's how old I feel I am :-p jajajaja) At least, I could have passed the time trying to capture something nice. It's not all days that one has the chance to take pictures of centric empty streets in broad daylight. And with snow!!! I went home and watched a movie.
Since then, it has kinda become a "tradition" for me to watch movies to kill out the feeling of loneliness. Particularly during Christmas. Some classics I watch almost every year, like Bridget. Others... it comes with the news of the season.
Luckily for me, the following Christmas in Ireland I was always invited here or there, I will stay at a friends home for the whole Christmas period (24th to 26th or 27th) or I will have some good friend over eating roast chicken and sprouts for 3 days in a row. And that was great. I never had to roam empty streets on Christmas day again.
Being without my family or my closest friends this year was hard. But it was definitively not the hardest Christmas time I've had. Plus everything was open. I actually was invited to join the family of a friend to a restaurant in Christmas day and most of them arrived late due to the hectic traffic. How ironic, don't you think? But, for some reason, I kept a bit of that search for belonging and loneliness within me these days. It's still a bit around me today. It might be the season, it might be the distance. or the fact that, being new in town, my list of "close" friend is reduce to 2 and I only know one of them for the past 4 months.
I miss my family and all my closest friends. I wonder when I will ever see them all again in one place. Though, to be honest, I have never seen them all in one place ever, mainly because I have met them on the course of many years and many travels and may countries I've lived in. But these are the kind of thoughts I've had.
As a "revenge" for the homesickness imposed on me these days, I did book tickets back to Europe on the day right after Christmas. I will be there again in a few months and I am already dreaming about the beautiful places I will visit, the amazing food I will be eating and all the great friends and loved ones I will be hugging once more soon. That, a few croissants I managed to find in a good cafe in town and a generous glass of wine, have made me come out of the blues and come back to the roll and rocking of my exciting days in this godforsaken and wonderfully diverse land of India.
To close this chapter, allow me to move to a more global view of the festivities now. Because when I speak about Christmas, well, it is not only Christmas, you know? See, after asking me about Christmas and hearing my evasive answer, I heard a muslim colleague tell me about his first Ramadan in Bangalore, far from his hometown and describing similar feelings of detachment and solitude as I had experience on the coming days to Christmas. One doesn't even need to be Christian to understand what I am saying, which is that when being far from home, the main festivities are the moments in which we feel the weaker about our decisions and the more disconnected from our previous selves into this world of the unknown.
So I will ask something from you all out there, thinking about what it would be to make one of your main festivities far from family, friends and a place to be called home: Next time a main festivity is around the corner, whether it is Ramadan, Thanksgiving, Diwali, Christmas, Hanukah or whatever else that makes it for somebody out there, if that somebody is far from home, make sure to invite them for dinner. Yes, you heard me. It's not about YOUR festivities, it's about THEIRS. They will surely be the most grateful that you will not want them alone in their special time. And, who knows, one day it might be you who gets invited by sweet warm people like you. The lonely ones will surely appreciate it too if you invite them in your festivities, but I can assure you that it would not be as much of an issue for them. I certainly did have no issues roaming around silent streets when Diwali came here. It was just curious to me. Though I must admit that I was planning to eat in a beautiful restaurant and I wasn't impress when my only choice was a sandwich parlour.
With this... Sweet dreams and MERRY CHRISTMAS TIME AND HAPPY NEW 2015 to you all!!!
Yes, this is exactly how I thought Christmas this year will be for me, particularly during the days coming to the main festivities. Luckily, Christmas day was a much more beautiful and warm time, full of laugher and sweet people around me. Unfortunately, the rest of the "Christmas time" has not been much better.
First Christmas on a foreign land, seems to be, it's always a bit similar to that Bridget Jones scene. Unless you come from an utterly dysfunctional (maybe even physically and/or emotionally violent) family, you are bound to miss to have them all around during Christmas time. Yes, believe me, you will. Yes, even when they make your life impossible the rest of the year because they are scared that you have gone completely bananas and don't know anymore what you are doing with your live. You will.
On 26th of December, I woke up to an empty home. No noise, no plans, no people to visit me or to go visit. Worst of all, nobody out there seemed to have noticed that Christmas had just passed, once more. I felt lonely.
I smile now to the thought, while remembering another first Christmas time: the one I had during my first year in Ireland. It was another tough one. I had had Christmas eve dinner at a work colleague home with another 4 boys, of which I only knew 2. We had a nice meal, even though we were all pretty different and had little in common or little else to share other than our work place. The high moment of the night was the lovely face of surprise and delightment that I had managed to summon out of them all when, coming midnight, I offered each one of them a book. And the great part is that I had only had the idea the same morning. After a few boring hours at work before being let go cause it was finally quiet, I had gone to my favourite book store during the rush of the last minute shopping craze and I had managed to find something I liked to offer for each one of the boys. Including those I didn't even know, indeed.
But... what was I trying to say? Oh yeah, first Christmas in Ireland. So... after that beautiful night, I soon found myself alone at home again, on Christmas day, watching the snow fall for a few hours (It was actually a bit of a magic feeling cause it normally doesn't snow in Ireland, really!) Then, I realised night time will come soon, I was bored of being alone, I had forgotten to buy a new book to myself and so... I decided to go out for a coffee. I guess I needed a bit of a sense of belonging to come back to me, as this is one of the first things one looses when moving abroad, and wanted to see myself immerse in a little bit of a Christmas with people cheer once again.
If you have never been out in town on Christmas day, well, you know... probably nobody on a Christian earth has ever been either and that's why you don't know what it is like, cause nobody with a family around them does that! That was exactly what I realised as soon as I stepped out. Streets that on a weekend were hard to move through and on a weekday were really not much better were now absolutely deserted. Other than the Christmas decorations, nothing, nothing at all, was there to make me company. No cars passing. No music from the shops. No people crossing. Not even noises from the homes around (They were probably at the country side with their extended families) NOTHING I roamed around town for a good 20min, me and my thoughts. I regretted to not have taken my photo camera (Yes people, yes! These were the times when mobiles didn't yet have a camera. That's how old I feel I am :-p jajajaja) At least, I could have passed the time trying to capture something nice. It's not all days that one has the chance to take pictures of centric empty streets in broad daylight. And with snow!!! I went home and watched a movie.
Since then, it has kinda become a "tradition" for me to watch movies to kill out the feeling of loneliness. Particularly during Christmas. Some classics I watch almost every year, like Bridget. Others... it comes with the news of the season.
Luckily for me, the following Christmas in Ireland I was always invited here or there, I will stay at a friends home for the whole Christmas period (24th to 26th or 27th) or I will have some good friend over eating roast chicken and sprouts for 3 days in a row. And that was great. I never had to roam empty streets on Christmas day again.
Being without my family or my closest friends this year was hard. But it was definitively not the hardest Christmas time I've had. Plus everything was open. I actually was invited to join the family of a friend to a restaurant in Christmas day and most of them arrived late due to the hectic traffic. How ironic, don't you think? But, for some reason, I kept a bit of that search for belonging and loneliness within me these days. It's still a bit around me today. It might be the season, it might be the distance. or the fact that, being new in town, my list of "close" friend is reduce to 2 and I only know one of them for the past 4 months.
I miss my family and all my closest friends. I wonder when I will ever see them all again in one place. Though, to be honest, I have never seen them all in one place ever, mainly because I have met them on the course of many years and many travels and may countries I've lived in. But these are the kind of thoughts I've had.
As a "revenge" for the homesickness imposed on me these days, I did book tickets back to Europe on the day right after Christmas. I will be there again in a few months and I am already dreaming about the beautiful places I will visit, the amazing food I will be eating and all the great friends and loved ones I will be hugging once more soon. That, a few croissants I managed to find in a good cafe in town and a generous glass of wine, have made me come out of the blues and come back to the roll and rocking of my exciting days in this godforsaken and wonderfully diverse land of India.
To close this chapter, allow me to move to a more global view of the festivities now. Because when I speak about Christmas, well, it is not only Christmas, you know? See, after asking me about Christmas and hearing my evasive answer, I heard a muslim colleague tell me about his first Ramadan in Bangalore, far from his hometown and describing similar feelings of detachment and solitude as I had experience on the coming days to Christmas. One doesn't even need to be Christian to understand what I am saying, which is that when being far from home, the main festivities are the moments in which we feel the weaker about our decisions and the more disconnected from our previous selves into this world of the unknown.
So I will ask something from you all out there, thinking about what it would be to make one of your main festivities far from family, friends and a place to be called home: Next time a main festivity is around the corner, whether it is Ramadan, Thanksgiving, Diwali, Christmas, Hanukah or whatever else that makes it for somebody out there, if that somebody is far from home, make sure to invite them for dinner. Yes, you heard me. It's not about YOUR festivities, it's about THEIRS. They will surely be the most grateful that you will not want them alone in their special time. And, who knows, one day it might be you who gets invited by sweet warm people like you. The lonely ones will surely appreciate it too if you invite them in your festivities, but I can assure you that it would not be as much of an issue for them. I certainly did have no issues roaming around silent streets when Diwali came here. It was just curious to me. Though I must admit that I was planning to eat in a beautiful restaurant and I wasn't impress when my only choice was a sandwich parlour.
With this... Sweet dreams and MERRY CHRISTMAS TIME AND HAPPY NEW 2015 to you all!!!
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